SPEAKER_01 0:16

Welcome to

Intro and New Co-Host

SPEAKER_01 0:17

season two of Practically Fit, Real Fitness Over 40. I'm Alex. And I'm Appy. And today we're going to talk about the husband-wife fitness dynamic. For those of you who are familiar with the podcast, you may be wondering, where have you been? Or, you know, what am I missing? I haven't listened to this before. Or maybe even a more fundamental question, what is this podcast about? Before we jump into this week's episode, let's do a true season opening style intro and recap where this podcast has been and where it's going. So on season one of the podcast, I hosted this with my good friend Jen. And at some point, we just got really busy with our lives, with with jobs and things like that. So we put the podcast on hiatus. Uh, and that has continued up until now. And Abby and I have been talking about it, and we're like, man, we'd really like to restart practically fit. So we're moving forward with the show with Abby and I as co-hosts. It's going to be fun to co-host a show with my wife. And Jen is going to try to join us down the road when she can. So that's how we're doing the podcast moving forward. We will be taking the same pragmatic approach to exploring fitness over 40 that uh we did previously in the first season. So we'll be sharing everyday fitness stories, looking at trends, debunking myths, and comparing our experiences versus fitness culture, all with the aim of providing safe real fitness ideas that you can fit into your everyday lives. So that's what's new this season. I'll be co-hosting this with Abby, my lovely wife. Uh, and we'll be talking a lot about our own fitness experiences. Fitness is a really big part of our lives, isn't it, Abby?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah,

Experiencing Fitness as a Couple

SPEAKER_00 1:58

absolutely. And that's why the first episode it felt really natural to do like how to experience fitness as a couple. I was actually on season one of the podcast as a um guest host one episode, and we talked about in that episode whether romantic partners can make good fitness friends and whether working out with your significant other is a good idea. We've uh tagged that episode in the notes section, by the way. So please feel free to go and listen to it. But spoiler alert, the answer was yes. Because for us, it really has been a big part of our overall story. Alex and I came together in the pandemic. That's when we first met. And for those who remember the pandemic, which is crazily six years ago now, it wasn't really a time to go to restaurants or bars. So we met really being outside, right? That's right.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Yeah. Our first date was on a hike at the local nature preserve, if I recall. And I think we probably talked about that in that podcast episode that's in the notes. But that's really, I think even we met on Bumble. And so I remember chatting with you, and you know, my profile said something about cycling.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

So you meant And had a couple of moody pictures of him out on hikes looking across lakes. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

I was mysterious. But uh hey, it worked. Uh, and and I think if I recall, you messaged me and said that you had three bikes, and I was like, wow, we should went in strong with like I have three bikes.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Um, but you know, things have changed for us over the last six years. Fitness is still a really, really important part of our lives. It's something that we actively prioritize. But some of the things that we've done have changed um since uh since we first got together. We still really like to work out. We like to work out at the same time, but sometimes we do different things. And that's become actually even more of our dynamic, I'd say, um, since we've shifted a little away from cycling, which is what we did a lot of when we first met, and towards running because we run really different paces and also we trend towards different running goals. Alex loves speed and he loves a 5K. I hate 5Ks. I do them. Yeah, you do them.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

We did one a few weeks ago and you did really well.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Yeah, I just I I find the first two miles of a run just hard work. So I tend to like more mid kind of level distances. So half marathon is my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Oh, I j I think I just figured out why you don't like 5K so much. It just hit me. Because if you find the first two miles hard work, well, the third mile of a 5K is a beatdown.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

So that's just exactly so like normally it's that's two miles. If I'm doing like a half marathon, like sucks, but then you kind of get into your rhythm and you can hold that pace. Whereas in a 5k, you need to kick it up in the third mile.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Yeah. Or try to, unlike the one that we did a few weeks ago. So yeah. So I think we'll have a future episode with with me, Abby, and Jen where we each argue for our favorite race distance. You know, Jen will be coming in uh to champion the marathon, I'm sure, and Abby will do the half marathon, I'll do the 5K. But getting back to this dynamic of working out at the same time, uh, even doing the same activity. So in this case, it's running because that's really a thing that we do together sometimes. It it's interesting how our dynamics have changed over the years. Abby mentioned cycling. And for cycling, we would just go out and ride together. And I I remember when we first met, you were in really good cycling shape, like to the point where there'd be some days where I would have trouble keeping up with you or you would have trouble keeping up with me, just depending on the dynamics of the day and our fitness levels. But now, like we're doing running, as you mentioned earlier, we kind of do different paces. So it's like we're doing the same activity, but sometimes we do it separately. And I think one thing we've discovered is that's really the best of both worlds because we're keeping each other accountable and we spend quality time together. We can celebrate each other's achievements, but also we can do things at our own pace. So this has been something I think that really has been working for us. And I think some of the lessons we've learned from our husband-wife fitness dynamic uh are that there are a few things that contribute to this. So

Three Important Tips for Couples Sharing Fitness

SPEAKER_01 6:21

the first thing I thought we could throw out there was just having this plan or schedule that is shared.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

Yeah, I I think that's really important, especially when you're a couple living your life together, you've got other commitments, whether that's kids or dogs or whatever, we have both of those. Um so you have to fit it into your schedule of life, right? Like, so I think it's, you know, just being able to know for each other like what's a priority. Like earlier in the year I was training for distance, so I needed to do a long run at the weekend, right? Like I needed to fit that into my um timeline and Alex knowing that's the case and the day that I was pitching for that so that we could balance it with other things that we need to do.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

Yeah, and I would like do my version of a long run on that day, which was like not 10 miles, it might be four or five miles, but we we kind of keep the schedule shared. Lately, we've been doing this run streak thing, so we're on as of today, day 49. So sharing a schedule when you're running every day is not that difficult. But like yesterday's a great example. You know, it's we're in Texas, it's hot, and I've been getting up at 5:30 in the morning most days to run, especially during the week before work because I go to an office. Abby works from home for the most part. So it's a little frustrating for her, I think, sometimes. When I'm waking up at 5 30, but she'll get up, you know, probably what, seven and go do her run before work.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Yeah, and Alex is very good at being quiet. He has all of his stuff already prepped his out the door. I'm able to go back to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Yeah, so that's what we would do during the week most days, but some days we don't feel like getting up early. It is hot here, so during the summer, if you're not running first thing in the morning, it's really challenging. Even in the evening, it can be really challenging to run here uh with this kind of heat. And even if, you know, it's like 6 p.m. and the sun is still pretty high in the sky, it's it's it's a bit of a beatdown. But like yesterday was a great example. It was Saturday. We wanted to sleep in, so didn't wake up at 5 30 or 6 30. Uh, we we slept in and then we went to the gym and we both ran. Abby likes to run on the treadmill at the gym. I like to use the indoor track, although although he looks like a little hamster going random.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

And I would say I like it. It's it's preferable to me than a treadmill. But again, another example of a way that we're sharing our plans and schedules.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Yeah, and that also that um that occasion we also both did a weight workout, which again, like I couldn't do the same things as Alex does. And actually, he's like at the moment trending towards calisthenics, and I'm doing a lot of dumbbells. So it works perfectly. We were able to get both bits of our workout in at the same time in the same place, but doing different things.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Yeah, you were indoors and I was out outdoors on the on the body weight porch. I don't know what they call it. Hard no.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Why would you want to go work out when it's 95 degrees outside?

SPEAKER_01 9:16

It was shaded and there was some really great music playing. Uh so another thing that we found that really works well for us uh in contributing to this sort of like shared fitness approach is signing up for races and events to support each other. And Abby referenced that earlier. So we've done a lot of races recently.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Yeah, and actually what's been really beautiful about that is sometimes we're we're doing different distances. So, like earlier in the year, I was doing I had trained for a half marathon, I was running a half marathon. Alex came to the same race and ran the 5k, and that like was really lovely. Like I and um he was continuing to cheer me on because obviously I was out there for a lot longer than he was, um, but we both enjoyed train for the same event day, but train for different races. So I think that's a a really cool thing. And and for me personally, having a race to work towards is a real good accountability keep for me. Like I know that I have to put in the time. So on those mornings when I wake up and I think, ugh, I really don't want to go run today. I know I have to, like, I'm not gonna make it to the race and do well. And I've never ever regretted a run. I've always procrastinated before one, but never actually regretted it. So I I find that that having that event on the calendar keeps me accountable and keeps me on track.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Yeah, I think the race itself is like extrinsic motivation in in the sense of like it's an external motivator. But if you're looking for intrinsic motivation, which we know is really a key to keeping your fitness routine going, you're you're really competing against yourself in some cases in these races. So I've found that like thinking about it more as like, hey, I'm competing against myself. I want to better my 5K time or I want to perform well in the heat has been a good sort of intrinsic motivator.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Yeah, I would really agree with that. And also, although I think you have to be a little cautious with that, like I um came back from an injury about a year and half ago now, almost two years actually, I had neck surgery. So I had a full six months of not exercising at all, um, just walking, and then have come back into running. And I've taken quite a break from running anyway, and taken a a break from distances. So building back up to longer distances, you have to be careful not to compare yourself to your old self, right? Like, um, so earlier this year I did a half marathon in Fort Worth called Cowtown. It's a great race, highly recommend for anyone looking for a somewhat hilly and uh fun race in February. But I got really frustrated that I wasn't like at the same sort of paces as I was before. And Alex was the one to talk me down and be like, hey, like you're being way too hard on yourself. You're you're comparing yourself to a fitness that you're not at right now. So it's also really good having your significant other like call you back in and just help you balance yourself. And actually, in that race, that race was so hard. It was really humid that day. I was really struggling, and Alex got like text messages from me early in the race saying, I can't do this, I can't do this, and he and he like cheered me on. And then me like checking in with him every mile was the way that I kept myself in the in that race and actually finished it.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

And that was that was kind of a weird thing because that race, the the way we had done that was we stayed at a hotel in downtown Fort Worth, which it was a couple miles probably from the start line, and it I couldn't go to the start line because there really was no way, like you had to take a bus to the start line. So my plan was to cheer you on as you went by in like what mile nine probably out of 13. And yeah, you were texting me at like mile what two. Yeah, I'm not gonna finish. And I was like, well, just keep going, just go my b mile by mile, keep keep getting into it. Yes, it's humid, but you can adapt to it. And I think after you got past like mile five, you realize, oh, I can I can finish this. And then I did see you at mile nine, and it it worked out great for me because not only did I get to chew you on, I got to go back to the hotel and watch the Arsenal game. So yeah, that's a priority. Yeah. I just I don't want anyone to think I'm like a callous husband. I could not get to the start line where that was.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

The start line was like insane. So that's all good.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Yeah, I think the third thing that's worked really well for us, sharing our our fitness goals and uh within our husband wife fitness dynamic is building fitness into our wider plan. So, like if we go on a vacation, I think is a great example of of that. Or if you go on a work trip, how are we keeping things going to meet our goals? We just recently went on a vacation down to Mexico, stayed on an island off Cancun, Isla de Mujeres, and it ended up being really awesome. It was very hot and humid, obviously, tropical weather, but we managed to build in our fitness routine and running into our daily routine on the island just sort of organically.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Yeah, it was actually so much fun. Like if you had told me uh that when I was younger that I would on my vacation run, get up and run first thing every morning, I would have laughed at you. My brothers would probably laugh uh listening to this, knowing the child I was growing up who did more dance and netball and not so much cardio. But it was really lovely. It was a really it was a really nice way to wake up um each morning. Um we weren't running long distance because it was hot and humid. Um, but we kept the run street going all the way through that holiday and had a little routine where we would do our morning run and then stop at a coffee bus and grab a coffee and croissant. It was pretty perfect.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Yeah, and I just want to pause there before we talk about the coffee bus some more because that was fun. What is netball? If you know, for the American listeners.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Oh, okay. Uh yeah, netball is a really popular sport in the UK on a smaller court than a basketball court. Different rules to basketball, but somewhat similar.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Similar, but the shot mechanics, in my opinion, don't really translate. Anyways. Different rules. Different rules, yeah. So just wanted to like, so people didn't think you were talking about basketball, it's a different sport. It's popular in England and Europe. Yeah, the trip was really great. And w there was this discussion because I had started this run streak, and you know, I didn't really my plan was to go a month and now I'm on day 49. And so is Abby.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Abby's Yeah, because if Alex is doing something, I'm gonna do it too.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah, so you were saying going into the trip, you don't need to keep the run streak going, and I was like, well, I I kind of do. And it just built and we ended up keeping it going. Like Abby mentioned, there was this cool little place, it was called the Coffee Bus. It was like a they had a little a coffee shop basically in the back of a little old V VW van and outside tables and everything. So we would just make that the reward at the end of our run every day because surprisingly there was more hills on this island than Oh my god. Yeah, I was thinking like we're gonna be it would be like Florida, where it's just flat when you're running, which is always fun on vacation, but it's very hot, very humid, even early in the morning. Some days we left it a little too late, but we had that motivator of we're gonna get the coffee at the end of the run. I was getting croissants from the place every day. So yeah, it turned out to be a really great thing. We kept the streak going. We even did some like fast intervals on the island. Uh, I may or may not have gotten a a little too.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Alex gets a little obsessed with Strava S.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah, there was a segment I I placed well on the segment. So it was it was fun and something that just kind of came about organically on our vacation, but just a great example of how we try to build these things into trips and the like. And Abby, when you're on vacation, you may try to keep your fitness going. We definitely, you know, I'll try to support you in that and vice versa. And we we tell each other what we did for the day and just try to keep each other motivated, even when we're thousands of miles apart.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah, exactly. Uh, as Alex said, I I generally work from home, but I also travel for work. And so if I'm in New York, I will still fit my run-in somewhere in the day. Um, and you know, I also think it's just a really a nice way to visit a city or visit somewhere like you go out and st and experience it from that different angle, especially running. But I've got friends who are big into cycling who will take their bike with them when they go on vacation. Right, yeah, great, great way to see in the past. Yeah, yeah, great way to see different things.

Things That Aren't So Good For Couples Fitness

SPEAKER_00 18:16

So, like any good list, we should balance with what doesn't work for us. And seems pretty obvious, um, but we already mentioned it earlier. Not trying to do the same thing in the same way. Like I can't run as fast as Alex. And sometimes in the past I've gone out on an easy run with him, trying to keep his pace, but his easy run pace is my tempo. So that doesn't work. I would literally die if I tried to and if I tried to run at his tempo or interval pace, I would literally die. So, you know, we we and and vice versa. Like if Alex tries to run at my easy pace, it's just too slow for him. It's not a natural cadence for him, so it does doesn't work. Now that doesn't mean we never do things together. So, you know, sometimes say I'm doing a tempo run, Alex could be joining me, and that could be his easy run, and we could be running at the same pace as one another. So we just have to be really strategic about it if we're thinking about things like that, but also could do things at the same time, but in our own way. So, as Alex mentioned earlier, we've done a quite a lot of 5Ks in the last year or so. Yeah. And we get to go to the same event, run the same distance, and cheer each other on. And it's been really fun. Like, and actually, one of my fave things on the course is when we pass one another, because Alex will have gone out.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Like on an out and back, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

On an out and back, he will have gone out faster than me. He always high-fives me or cheers me as he goes past, which gives me a little boost.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, that's that's always fun. Uh, we also like to compare our data. You mentioned different paces, but that's not always like the greatest thing, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:03

No, I think it I really love what you said earlier. You have to compare yourself to yourself, right? Like, and this is where sites like Strava are great, but they can also be a real pitfall if you're comparing yourself to someone else. You have no idea what else they're doing. You don't know how much sleep they're getting, what they're fueling their body with. Like it's really it can be really dangerous, I think, to compare yourself. Um, we both love data, but you know, our running stats are completely different. My resting heart rate is totally different to Alex and it's that's what I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Yeah, we have like she she has like a really good resting heart rate. I mean, so we've watched the Tour de France, and I think, you know, they've been doing these commercials for the whoop devices that you were on your wrist, so sort of like a it's like a hilt device similar to a Garmin watch, but I think it does more advanced data or like too much data for me personally. I wouldn't want that. But it you know, they've been showing some of these cyclists' resting heart rates, and I think Matthew Vanderpool, who's really specialized in like going out on these one-day races, hilly kind of races, his resting heart rate yesterday was 39, and Tate Pagacha, who's the greatest cyclist alive, I think it was like 42. Uh I just like to say my resting heart rate last night was 40. Exactly. So hers is down like with these elite athletes. And I'm always very happy with my resting heart rate. It's uh it's in usually in the upper 50s, still pretty good. But like if we're comparing that, or even on runs, like my heart rates always run hotter. So I've been really happy recently if I have like an on an easy run an average heart rate in the 140s or 130s.

SPEAKER_00 21:41

So yeah, but on my easy run, I can get my average heart rate in the mid 120s. So like it's just totally different.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah, and it's you know, the flip side, we're not competing on our paces as well because that that wouldn't work either. So it's kind of interesting to look at the data, but wouldn't suggest like comparing data with your spouse in a comparison. Competitive way unless you both have this. Similar kind of metrics, I would say. This would not

Do Couples Who Exercise Together Stay Together?

SPEAKER_01 22:06

be practically fit if we didn't add in some research. That's something Jen and I always did on the previous season. So we wanted to talk about this like couple's fitness dynamic and look at some of the research that's specific to romantic partners. So we found a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships called Better Together: The Impact of Exercising with a Romantic Partner. And so this study indicated that couples experience higher daily positive emotions and greater relationship satisfaction on days that they exercise jointly. And moreover, the research showed in these multi-level models that on days when people exercise with their romantic partner, they experience higher positive effect during exercise, higher daily positive effect, and were more satisfied with their relationship compared to days when they exercise without their partner. So I I believe what that's saying is that like exercising with your partner not only makes you happier, but it also can impact your actual workouts. And we've kind of talked about that a bit so far on the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

Yeah, I think that's I think it's really interesting. I mean, everybody knows the read like what's the reason that you do exercise? Like, you know, we talk about runners high. That's the endorphins and the the dopamine, right? Like so that makes a lot of sense to me, but it's really fascinating that that impact that it has on your actual relationship. It makes sense, but like you wouldn't think about it in that way. Like so I think it's just really interesting and a good argument as to why as a romantic couple you would want to build this into part of your relationship if if you can and you have similar interests or you can fit it into your schedule.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Yeah, and again, I kind of what we shared with you on the podcast so far. I think we have definitely experienced that dynamic. We also found research that outlines sort of the flip side of this. Uh so this was a 2018 study from Research Quarterly Exercise and Sport titled here's a fun title Spousal Concord Concordance for Objectively Measured Sedentary Behavior and Physical Activity Among Middle-aged and Older couples. Ooh, snappy time. Yeah, the concordance got me there. Uh so this study found that sedentary behaviors behaviors of one spouse could have an effect on the other spouse. In other words, if you're lazy, it may influence your spouse to be lazy. Abby, do you think that's ever happened to us?

SPEAKER_00 24:50

I I definitely think like if you if you kind of fall start to fall into that trap, it can be really infectious. So yeah, that makes a ton of sense to me. Like I know like you said we have um we tend to either exercise in the morning or in the evening because it's just too hot during the day. And sometimes when you leave it to the evening, if one of you is like, oh, I just can't be bothered, especially as we were working out of the track or something like that, right? Then the other one's like, I I don't really want to either. So like I definitely think that's a really logical dynamic.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Yeah, so I think for us it's really only happened on kind of that micro level where it's like a day-to-day thing. I don't um I don't think it's happened where one of us has gotten sedentary for weeks on end and then the other person is just becomes inactive as well. It like when you had your neck surgery, I did have to like work really hard to like keep myself going. So there was that aspect to it. Uh, but there's also, like you said, just the day-to-day thing. This morning's a really good example, actually. We were gonna go for a trail run and you had a headache, and so I started to think, well, I could just stay in bed, but I was like, oh, the run streak. So the run streak kept me going. I got up, I did I so I actually now that we're talking about this is a really good example, I think, because you had a headache. I went ahead and got up and just decided, well, I'm not gonna go drive somewhere where there's a trail, just run around the neighborhood. I ran about four miles, and then what happened?

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Well, I slept in a bit longer, and I think I had a headache from just lack of sleep, had a stressful end of my work week. And so by the time Alex got back, I had slept and woke up and then was like, I actually feel okay now, my headache's gone. And something in the universe was working in my favor because it was cloudy. So I was like, I'll go run now.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

But it could it also seeing me go and do the run maybe motivated you.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Well, of course. Like I also wanted to make sure I kept up my run streak.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Yeah. So a lot of a lot of factors going into this. But in short, I would say the research backs up our experience that working out together has a net overall positive impact on both your relationship and your overall fitness. Uh, and I think it backs up one of your favorite mantras, Abby. Behavior breeds behavior. Amen. All right.

Outro and Next Episode Teaser

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Well, that is it for this edition of the podcast. Welcome to season two. If you enjoyed it, please comment or leave us a review on your favorite platform. Uh, you can subscribe to our Substack over at practically.fit where we'll have occasional content there. But again, if you like the podcast, please leave us a review on your favorite platform. All of our episodes are available at podcast.practically. Uh, if you have questions you'd like us to ponder on the podcast, please leave a comment or send me an email at alex at practically. What is our next episode about?

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Our next episode will be about dad bod or mom bod, something Alex and I probably talk about on a weekly basis. Yeah. So stay tuned for that episode. And remember, when it comes to fitness, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be practical. We'll catch you on the next one.